https://example.invalid Astonishing news for astonishing times Satire. en-GB /2026/09/09/ontario-renames-itself-brayden-for-september-calls-move-libe/ ontario-renames-itself-brayden-for-september-calls-move-libe-mwf5g5 Wed, 09 Sep 2026 20:57:38 GMT World The province is accepting submissions for November and December, but has ruled out returning to Ontario on the grounds that it never felt like one. (Satire. The Avocado Post publishes fiction.) /2026/09/09/sauropod-licensed-as-training-data-nine-days-after-discovery/ newly-found-brazilian-sauropod-signs-away-likeness-rights-in-805ndz Wed, 09 Sep 2026 20:44:31 GMT Science The 92-million-year-old specimen is named as the consenting party in a nine-page agreement it did not attend, and has received none of the money. (Satire. The Avocado Post publishes fiction.) /2026/09/09/ai-has-10-chance-of-killing-everyone-but-considered-less-dan/ lab-with-10-chance-of-killing-everyone-cannot-legally-sell-u-g09win Wed, 09 Sep 2026 20:44:31 GMT Artificial Intelligence Anthropic's departing alignment lead confirmed the company's internal estimate falls within tolerances that would close a French dairy within a working day. (Satire. The Avocado Post publishes fiction.) /2026/09/09/trump-bans-canadian-maple-syrup-orders-american-trees-to-mak/ trump-bans-canadian-maple-syrup-orders-domestic-sap-producti-x984hq Wed, 09 Sep 2026 14:21:22 GMT Business Agriculture Department confirms United States has six maple trees. (Satire. The Avocado Post publishes fiction.) /2026/09/09/we-renamed-places-for-four-hundred-years-and-nobody-thanked-/ charles-iii-annexes-new-york-renames-it-after-the-brother-he-5jwgqy Wed, 09 Sep 2026 14:18:26 GMT Opinion King Charles has renamed New York City to New Edinburgh under a 1664 lease that never expired. No consultation was required. (Satire. The Avocado Post publishes fiction.) /2026/09/08/colleagues-now-ask-ai-what-susan-thinks-instead-of-asking-su-njdlbx/ colleagues-now-ask-ai-what-susan-thinks-instead-of-asking-su-njdlbx Wed, 09 Sep 2026 04:04:35 GMT Work Claims manager Susan Okonkwo has been rated 91.4 per cent accurate to herself, down from 93.2 per cent in the second quarter. (Satire. The Avocado Post publishes fiction.)