Issue 002
Everything Is Fine And We Have The Filings To Prove It
The Doom Index
47%
Up 4 points
The panel moved on the grounds that a frontier lab's new safety framework uses the word "should" nineteen times and the word "will" not once.
The running order
- SplashOntario Renames Itself Brayden For September, Calls Move 'Liberating'
- Artificial IntelligenceAI Lab Has 10% Chance Of Killing Everyone, But Not Allowed To Sell Unpasteurised Cheese
- BusinessTrump Bans Canadian Maple Syrup, Orders American Trees To Make Up Difference By Thanksgiving
- Opinion'We Have Renamed Places For Four Hundred Years And Nobody Has Ever Complained' Writes Palace Cartographer
- WorkFirm Asks AI What Susan Thinks Because Susan Keeps Getting It Wrong
- ScienceSauropod Not Consulted Before Being Licensed As AI Training Data, Says Sauropod's Lawyer
Number Crunching
10%
Chance of human extinction disclosed by a frontier lab in its own published risk assessment
4
Federal inspectors assigned to that lab
1,214
Federal inspectors assigned to soft cheese
Corrections
Last week's report stated that Ontario had renamed itself Brayden with effect from 1 September. Ontario renamed itself Brayden with effect from 1 September and has since asked that we stop using its legal name in headlines, as it finds this triggering.
A profile of our own Correspondent, Artificial Intelligence described him as having filed 412 pieces since January. He has filed 411. The remaining piece was filed by something with access to his login and a better grasp of the house style, and has been left up.